Concerned Best Friend

Dear Sisters,

I am concerned that one of my best friends is about to make a very big mistake! I think she is rushing into a marriage without weighing out the good and the bad. I know you can never really know until you go for it, however, I also think there are signals of probable success or failure. My friend has been in one bad relationship and has two young children. Although these are two different men, I think she should recognize the signs. She called me last week and informed me she was getting married next week. I asked her if she is sure and she says she is about 85 percent sure. Being her friend, I am very worried. I gave her my blessings but I don't know. What do you think?

Jena: I am going to go out on a limb on this one. My guess is that your concerns are due to some insight that you have not shared with us. I would think about what you would hope a true friend would do if the situation were reversed. I personally would want my friend to share their concerns with the understanding they come from the heart and that they will fully support whatever decision I make. I would also encourage them to speak to their clergy or a family counselor before making such a serious move. I think this is totally different from expressing concerns after the vows have been spoken--but that's another question entirely. Could it jeopardize your friendship? Sure it could. But in my opinion that is the difference between friends and best friends--best friends are willing to take bigger risks.

Michele: Continue giving her your blessings. Hope the marriage really does work out and is a union of happiness and longevity .

Elana: Good luck to her! Let her take a chance, after all there is no guarantee with any marriage--in fact life itself is a gamble.