Saturday, July 02, 2011

Fantasizing About Grass On Other Side of Fence

Dear Sisters,

I have been married for almost a year and realize that I have made a horrible mistake. I am in love with the man I dated before I met my husband. He doesn't know it and is about to get married. I really want to tell him how I feel but I do not want to hurt my husband. I am so confused.

Jena: Tell me if I have this picture right or not. You have been fantasizing about this chap while laying in bed next to this guy who has promised to be there for you through thick and thin, for better or worse, until one of you checks out permanently. I agree that you are confused. Get over it or get out of it. And, I wouldn’t count on your ex having a change of heart about who he loves.

Michele: Well dear, it sounds as if your ex- must be in love with someone else—being that he’s getting married. So, “Is your husband in love with you?” Girl, you could really be out in the cold.

Elena: You messed up, so deal with it and move on. Its too late to fix this. He has found someone else, ok… Next time don’t be so slow—you snooze, you lose.

“TP” (Our Guy): Even if you tell your ex how you feel, that doesn’t mean he feels the same. My gut tells me you have some love for your husband or you wouldn’t have married him and you wouldn’t care if you hurt him. So work on your marriage!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Lonely in His Neck of the Woods

Dear Sisters: I am a 35-year old man and I desperately want a wife, but there are simply no good women left. I meet a lot of women but all they want is my money and sex. Most of them don't even watch the news and cannot even hold a decent conversation. Where should I look? And, don't tell me to go to church because all the good ones are married and the single ones are looking for, well you know. Its the same in the supermarket.

Jena: Sounds like you’re looking too hard. Good things come to those who wai

You got me! You’re asking the wrong sista.

Elena: The way you speak of all “women,” I think you should consider going to a gay bar.

“TP” (Our Guy): I am a 51-year old man who not so long ago found the love of my life—online by the way. So be patient and before you know it she will be there.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Sassy at Wimbledon

Dear Sisters:

Why does Venus Williams insist upon wearing those awful tennis outfits? And, why doesn't she fix her hair? She and Serena are so very different? Venus is more like her parents and Serena is more refined.

Awful. Fix. Refined. Like. All of these words deal with conforming to a standard. Venus is one of the most successful young women in the world. She’s strong, confident, capable, articulate, gracious, passionate and successful. I wouldn’t change a thing about this young lady. I certainly wouldn’t quibble over fashion and coiffure.

Michele: I don’t follow tennis, so I haven’t really noticed what they wear. But I suppose maybe Venus wears what is comfortable to her—like my nice little workout pants are good for me although I don’t work out. And maybe she doesn’t fix her hair because she’ll only sweat out that expensive hairdo. That kinda would defeat the purpose, hmmm.

Elena: I think Venus is comfortable within herself. She has proven herself and it has nothing to do with how she appears to us fashion-wise.

TP (Our Guy): I see nothing wrong with what Venus wears. She designs her own tennis clothes and feels she looks good in them. I have not seen much of Venus off the court, but I'm sure she wears it the way she feels comfortable.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

First Ladies on the Catwalk

Dear Sisters,

Why does everyone try to say Laura Bush is so much more attractive than Hillary Clinton?

Jena: Beats me; neither is a beauty queen. But then, that is not their line of business, now is it? One more thing--who is everyone?

Michele: I think that people just have to find something to talk about. Those that prefer not to talk politics talk fashion.

Elana: I think they both look fine. I do not talk politics, so I must be one of those folks who talks fashion. They both look better than Angelina Jolie. Everybody's entitled to their own opinion. Right? As insipid as it might be.

Evil Sister

Dear Sisters,

I am a 50 year-old woman, although I probably look no older than 35 years-old. I am a really attractive woman and have always been so. Men have always found me attractive and to be honest I have loved all of the attention I have received over the years. I have one sister who loves to remind me that I am getting older and that my beauty is beginning to fade. I know and accept that little fact of life but I hate that my sister feels the need to tease me about it. What should I do to deter her comments?

Jena: Just keep on looking good. Looking older does not mean you have to look any less wonderful.

Michele: Ignore her, just like I imagine you have been doing for years.

Elana: Tell her how you feel. If she continues to tease you, then she's your sister and I don't rightly think there's much more to be done. Its certainly not worth shutting her out of your life.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Fish Out of Water

Dear Sisters,

I am a 36 year-old female. I am divorced and have a ten-year old son. I have been divorced for three years and this last year I really stepped out and began dating again. It was a rough and rocky road. The men I met were just awful. One was fifteen years older and a playboy. One was my age but he was more interested in gambling than me. He seemed like such a nice man—and he was nice, but he loved the track. It consumed his free time and I believe much of his money as well. And, what happened to moving slowly? These guys really expected to get to first base on the first or second date. I married when I was 19 years old. Have things really changed so significantly over the years? I feel like a like a fish out of water.

Jena: I understand totally. My only advice is to be careful. It sounds as if you went out with these men without doing at least a little homework. By homework I mean long, long conversations on the phone regarding their interests, and their life in general. Its amazing what one can glean from a few conversations.

Michele: And lets not forget background checks. The Internet is a wonderful, wonderful tool.

Elana: And lets not forget its just a date. Guys have been trying to get to first base on the first date as far back as I can remember. Just concentrate on a free night on the town and soon or later a nice guy will show up. But I would definitely stop looking under rocks to find them.

Friday, December 29, 2006

Daddy Was a Hound Dog

Dear Sisters,

My father passed away three years ago and while going through his things I discovered several incriminating photos. The problem is that the photos included my father and women other than my mother. If I had never seen these photos, I would have remembered my father as a wonderful man. He was hardworker, a good husband and father, and heavily involved in our church. But now my memories are tainted by these horrible photos. But a bigger issue is that my mother just keeps talking about how wonderful he was. She doesn't know about the photos. I just want to show them to her so she too can put the perfect man to rest. Would it be cruel to tell her?

Jena: It has been said that the truth will make you free? But what else does it make you? In the long run this truth might be more than you bargained for.

Michele: I think that you should share it with you mother. Perhaps it will not only put her memories in perspective, but it might also allow both of you to come to terms with who your father really was as a person. He was human. Although your father was a low-down trifling human in one respect, he did have some really good qualities. There are a lot of men who are just low-down and trifling--and, nothing else.

Elana: I would let that dog lie. Your father is dead. Your mother is content with her memories. Making her miserable is not going to make you any less miserable. So, what would be the point?

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Confused By All the Santas

Dear Sisters,

I am eight years old. Everywhere I look, I see Santa Claus. I know that some of them are fake by the way they look. Is there really a Santa Claus?

Jena: I too have spotted Santa in the mall on several occasions, however I certainly hope you are aware that Christmas is not really Santa's big day; its the day we recognize the birth of Christ.

Michele: Sweetie, only in one's imagination.

Elana: Yes, honey. Haven't you seen him in the department stores?