Daddy Was a Hound Dog

Dear Sisters,

My father passed away three years ago and while going through his things I discovered several incriminating photos. The problem is that the photos included my father and women other than my mother. If I had never seen these photos, I would have remembered my father as a wonderful man. He was hardworker, a good husband and father, and heavily involved in our church. But now my memories are tainted by these horrible photos. But a bigger issue is that my mother just keeps talking about how wonderful he was. She doesn't know about the photos. I just want to show them to her so she too can put the perfect man to rest. Would it be cruel to tell her?

Jena: It has been said that the truth will make you free? But what else does it make you? In the long run this truth might be more than you bargained for.

Michele: I think that you should share it with you mother. Perhaps it will not only put her memories in perspective, but it might also allow both of you to come to terms with who your father really was as a person. He was human. Although your father was a low-down trifling human in one respect, he did have some really good qualities. There are a lot of men who are just low-down and trifling--and, nothing else.

Elana: I would let that dog lie. Your father is dead. Your mother is content with her memories. Making her miserable is not going to make you any less miserable. So, what would be the point?

Confused By All the Santas

Dear Sisters,

I am eight years old. Everywhere I look, I see Santa Claus. I know that some of them are fake by the way they look. Is there really a Santa Claus?

Jena: I too have spotted Santa in the mall on several occasions, however I certainly hope you are aware that Christmas is not really Santa's big day; its the day we recognize the birth of Christ.

Michele: Sweetie, only in one's imagination.

Elana: Yes, honey. Haven't you seen him in the department stores?

Wife of a Predator

I was watching a program about child predators on Dateline tonight. My husband is always on the Internet in chatrooms. Whenever I walk in the room he quickly closes out his conversation box. I have reason to suspect to that he is chatting with young girls although I do not know if he has met with any of them. One reason I believe this is because I am 20 years-old and he is 51 years-old. I met him when I was fifteen and we got married when I was eighteen. He has not seemed interested in me since we have been married. I know that he has approached some of the younger girls in our town. I really do not mind because this keeps him away from me. Should I report him to the authorities?

Jena: If you have proof that your husband is illegally approaching underage girls for sex, then you should definitely report him. You might consider reporting him to Dateline.

Michele: Just because your husband began his relationship with you when you were underage does not necessarily mean he has continued the behavior. Just because he closes out his chatroom conversations when you enter the room does not necessarily mean he is is chatting with underage girls. Rumours of approaching young girls in your neighborhood do not necessarily make him a child molester. But it certainly sounds worth reporting to the authorities for investigation.

Elana: You might need more help than your husband. Well, at least as much help as your husband. I highly recommend you speak to your clergy or a counselor regarding your relationship with your husband. It sounds as if you were at one time a victim of his child molestation issues. And as far as the authorities, if I had evidence of his activities then I would report him. I do not know if suspicions would be enough for the authorities to investigate. I think that whatever I do, I would do it anonymously.

Elana:

Excusemaker or Realist

Dear Sisters,

I have often been told I can achieve anything if I give it my all. I feel that the real issue is there are some things some people are just not good at doing. Do you think I am making excuses, or do you agree that some people are just not good at some things?

Jena: It is a question only that person can answer. I do believe different people have different strengths. That being said, in my lifetime I cannot recall an instance when something that I set out to learn was not within my grasp. Well, maybe one instance, a singer I am not. However, I can recall times when something was beyond the effort I was willing to put forth. I will say that I have always known in my heart when the real obstacle was my ability or my attitude. Still, there have been times when I ignored my heart and labeled my excuse as the reason for not giving my best.

Michele: Personally, I believe that you can achieve anything you would like to achieve. But I also think that you may not be as good as others at those achievements. On the other hand, you might be better than others at some achievements.

Elana: I believe it can be either or. Sometimes you make excuses that you cannot do something because you do not want to put forth the effort. And sometimes, you really may not be good at it. But try it before you dish it.

Concerned Best Friend

Dear Sisters,

I am concerned that one of my best friends is about to make a very big mistake! I think she is rushing into a marriage without weighing out the good and the bad. I know you can never really know until you go for it, however, I also think there are signals of probable success or failure. My friend has been in one bad relationship and has two young children. Although these are two different men, I think she should recognize the signs. She called me last week and informed me she was getting married next week. I asked her if she is sure and she says she is about 85 percent sure. Being her friend, I am very worried. I gave her my blessings but I don't know. What do you think?

Jena: I am going to go out on a limb on this one. My guess is that your concerns are due to some insight that you have not shared with us. I would think about what you would hope a true friend would do if the situation were reversed. I personally would want my friend to share their concerns with the understanding they come from the heart and that they will fully support whatever decision I make. I would also encourage them to speak to their clergy or a family counselor before making such a serious move. I think this is totally different from expressing concerns after the vows have been spoken--but that's another question entirely. Could it jeopardize your friendship? Sure it could. But in my opinion that is the difference between friends and best friends--best friends are willing to take bigger risks.

Michele: Continue giving her your blessings. Hope the marriage really does work out and is a union of happiness and longevity .

Elana: Good luck to her! Let her take a chance, after all there is no guarantee with any marriage--in fact life itself is a gamble.